#but i have a feeling he's gonna drive me insane
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just reread ur freeuse reader and skz drabble but now all i can think of is skz who is freeuse imagine just being in public and just eating them out / sucking them off while they whine :33
did you ask for a MTL on who I think likes to be free-use? did I hear a yes? !!free use society ahead!!
most!
han!
lovely slut! he's sooo endearing and wants to be used anytime anywhere! you want him to finger you in the theaters? done! giving you head during a night out? yes please! but he gets so embarrassed when you do it to him. stroking him while he's trying to work on a song or when you're on double date? he's blushing so hard and he'd prolly beg you to wait until you get home. he secretly likes it tho. the way you keep a conversation with your fingers playing with his tip makes him leak so much
seungmin!
okay, please don't be shocked. I had to put him up this high. USE HIM. USE HIM. USE HIM. I'm tired of seungmin being a hard dom when irl I know he loves being rough-handled and used. he's a huge munch idk why that's such a strong belief I have. he'll do anything for you anywhere. ask him to fuck you while the members are over and he's putting you on the dinner table and drilling your shit unbearably good. the only limit I'd say is when he's working ? like practicing his vocals he just really need to focus and he can't do that when you're pretty legs are open just asking to be spread
hyunjin!
he worships you idk what you want me to say. he doesn't even view it as sex or something gross, he just wants to be close to you in the most intimate way possible (I think ive said this before). constantly rubbing your clit because he knows you looveeee that and kissing the curve of your neck because that also drives you insane. you honestly don't even have to ask hyunjin, he just knows when you need it because he knows you so well. that being said, he also would like his partner to be free-use too. he wants the passion to be equal
changbin!
I feel wrong putting him lower, but I think it's true. he's shy and he likes to keep things between you two, BUT he feels super prideful (as a Leo should) when you ask him for a favor. he's most comfortable with oral, but he underestimated how much you enjoy giving it to him. you wanna do it public??? he'll give in but he hides his blushing face in his hoodies and tries to keep him hips from bucking so much. if he gets super into it, he'll thread his hand in your hair and try pushing you deeper. I can only imagine how much his members coo like ugh I just know Felix watches almost enviously lmaooo
felix!
he actually really likes it! the reason he's lower is because he just feels uncomfortable sometimes. like, I don't think Felix enjoys that many people watching. especially if they're strangers. but if it's his members or friends? then yessssss use him! pull his panties to the side and do what you want! lol, but he just needs to be warmed up with the people around him. he would also love it if some members joined in on you using him. like maybe he's fucking you and someone's pinching his nipples or guiding his hips to fuck you harder. he really really likes feeling completely surrounded, so he's down for a whole orgy so long as he knows and trusts everyone.
jeongin
okay I was gonna put him last but then I was thinking and? he really likes fingering you. feeling your plush walls and if you're jerking him off too?? pure bliss. the members get tired of trying to talk to him when you're there cuz you end up whispering in his ear to play with your clit and it always ends with you two moaning into each other's mouth. or if someone's trying to talk to him and you get on your knees to suck him off, jeongin is so persistent like "Nono, keep talking im listening" and his fingers curl into your hair and he's trying to stay still because HE'S the free-use but holy shit your mouth is so warm and soft, he cums straight down your throat. but like I said, HE'S free-use, so you overstimulate him pretty often until the person he's talking to can't stand jeongin's high pitched whining and rolling eyes like - I need to stop
chan!
bandgie...did you really put him this low? yes and im sorry. but listen! he's shy okay??? he's a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets! some things are for you and him and THATS IT. maybe a very small handful of people who he trusts can see but he's just really possessive. if YOU were free-use? that'd be different. like he gets to use you and everyone knows who you belong to, but him? what if people think you want another free-use bf? what if they think he isn't already owned? he worries too much BUT I do think he's similar to minho in that he'd eat you out and finger you, but sexsexsex? I mmeeaannnn if you ask nicely and bat your pretty eyelashes he would, but he would also give anyone the death stare that so much as glances your way.
minho!
he likes it, but like idk. he's down to finger you anytime, getting all your juices gushing down his wrist because he's genuinely the best finger-blaster on the planet, but full on sex?? he has boundaries. you want a quickie in the bathroom? okay yes he's absolutely okay with that, but even if it is a free-use society and it's accepted he just? he just likes keeping it low-key. BUT he likes people knowing he's yours. maybe an earrings or necklace with your initial. a hickey that never seems to go away. something to mark him as yours. but anything more than his hands or mouth publically is a limit
least!
#smut#poly!skz#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids#skz chan#skz#skz hard hours#skz hard thoughts#skz lee know#skz changbin#skz hyunjin#skz ot8#skz han#skz felix#skz seungmin#skz jeongin
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after i finish my first run of veilguard i will probably be going back to inquisition so i can shake solas like a ragdoll for all the shit he just Neglected to tell us
#dragon age#solas#i love him so much#but i have a feeling he's gonna drive me insane#and i'll need to replay inquisition to fully remind myself#just how much shit he lied by omission about
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dontcha think it’s kinda cute that i died right inside your arms tonight?
#click for quality#drew this a couple of months ago and never posted it but now I’m feeling evil so I will#literally listened to arms tonite on repeat drawing this and went a bit insane I don’t even like mother mother that much but it’s THEIR SON#torchwood#torchwood fanart#ianto jones#jack harkness#janto#torchwood spoilers#???? is it spoilers if it came out in 2009#torchwood coe#hi kids did you miss me im back and ive chosen violence for my first non ask post ◡̈#I was almost gonna reply to an ask requesting janto with this but that would have been TOO malicious#I am so obsessed with ianto finding out jack murdered a bunch of kids but still immediately rushing to him and cradling him when he’s shot#what if I exploded#janto drives me crazy fr#sorry for jacks gormless expressions#I love you/don’t VS I love you/that’s the virus talking KILL ME#screencap redraws :D#how does coe have both the forklift incident and the frobisher killing his family then himself incident#tonal whiplash in this season is insane but also it’s SUCH a good series of television#anyway expect more sillies next time no more angst back to my regularly scheduled content !
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If they didn't want me to make them into yaoi they could stop being yaoi for five seconds
#joetrick#kill me#please don't stop actually fob#increase it please#he's gonna fucking eat him#profiles my beloved#I've been trying to draw from more references recently bc i can feel my basics slipping a little bit but they come right back with practice#also good excuse to stare at every inch of their faces#the way their skin hangs on their faces drives me insane do you understand#the deep valleys under joes deep set eyes the flat plane under Patrick's nose#the hard lines of cheekbone contrasted with the soft of their jaws from weight and age I'm so fucking in love#the way their different features have aged#Patrick's lips compared to Joe's joes lower cheek compared to Patrick#theyre both so damn pretty#safe to reblog#fall out boy#patrick#joe#this is a doodles blog but bRO I LOVE DRAWING#tourdust
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[pacing] no but actually what did they put in close wars maul to make him so hot like what was that
#like the answer is passion obviously (and sam witwer voice) but it still makes me climb the walls lol#like its genuinely insane to me watching the maul episodes like i said this to my friends bu like#everything with him feels so indulgent#the animation the expresions the voice acting the delivery the Everything#like it feels like these peopel are just as excited to show us him#idk jsut like AUGH. AUGH [GNAWS ON THE BARS OF MY CAGE]#its interesting how like...hmmm how do i phrase this#i love rex more- obviously. but in the back of my mind with his animation im lwys kinda sitting here like#'you do not look 20-26 like ur supposed to man' and like dont get me wrong. still hot (though without the helmet mayb like post s3 ehehe)#(side note rex is just as hot with the helmet. sometimes hotter. sometmes the other way around but like. sometimes hotter. im right)#still [stares at him carnally] but i think the him in my minds eye simulatneously looks like show him but a little younger looking lol#whilst i dont have that caveat with maul i need no compartmentalisation (however small)#so instead i just watch like eeeoeuouoguhouogeuouuhh#(which to be fair i do with rex too but maul is in a lot less episodes so they really drive him in. so it feels like big induglent treat)#luke rambles#god im gonna tag this for archival purposes but ik this'll end up in the tgs KGDNSGJSGDS ah well#sw#tcw#maul#i will also say specifically tcw maul like rebels maul is fine but he loses a lot of his cuntiness and eatability persoanlly#which is fine its mostly the rebels animations fault lbr
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Do you feel like Ashton and Orym are avoiding speaking to each other? I've seen a few others mention it and it feels like they have plenty of opportunities to talk but don't
OH YEAH ABSOLUTELY.
i feel like ever since their talk in ep 40 there's been smth off between them versus before. extremely long rambling under the cut i am so sorry these two change my brain chemistry
personally i think on orym's side he doesn't like someone who's able to read him this well. i think it's esp interesting cause ashton in ep 40 said "i know you're not okay." rather than asking if orym was okay, feel like that makes orym uncomfortable. someone not evening giving him a chance to continuing putting on his strong exterior. probably last person able to read past his bullshit was well...will, derrig or his mother.
ashton i think seems afraid of how easily they open up to orym. just like ashton sees through orym's, orym sees through ashton's bullshit. they've almost started to say things to orym & just abruptly cut off (and it's killing me!!! ashton i am shaking you by the shoulders what were you gonna say!!!). they want to be ready to talk to him but they aren't cause once they start i don't think they'll be able to keep everything in. knowing how much this group is players who embody their character nearly 24/7 (i do it too agfgh), i was esp sad seeing ashton after the battle. look like they were holding back fuckin tears man (orym too).
both of them are feeling small and lost and i think once they do talk? it'll be big for them internally because they read eachother so well and are a lot more similar than they originally thought. ESP seeing even slivers of how orym copes with things this awful. seems like ash & him cope more similarly than i would've figured. also makes me worried for those 6 years orym was lost for....girl what happened...
in general i think their talk in ep 40 made all their similairties and abilities to just see straight through eachother more apparent to them both. and that's sorta scary for both of them, hence why they're just avoiding it. easier to ignore it than sit down and talk to someone who you know will see a very vulnerable version of you whether you like it or not.
#asks#anon#liam i am BEGGING you to see the motherfucker right infront of orym#you went insane for essek & his similarities to caleb pls do the same for my punk rock#also been losing my mind at the FACES ashton keeps making when orym talks they look so sad for him#i have an inkling ashton was gonna talk to orym before bor'dor ended up doing so#tal was doing that Thing he does before he wants to do rp where he like rapidly looks at matt and the person he wants to rp with#girl calm down it's ok#but YEAH they're driving me insane TALK TO EACHOTHER U COWARDS#WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? REALIZING YOU CAN BE VULNERABLE WITH EACHOTHER? MAYBE HAVING FEELINGS?#COWARDS !!!#also saw someone say ashton might be feeling a lil hurt seeing orym go talk to all these other people after they offered their shoulder#i can very much see that
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saw a tiktok that was like "which one are you bouncing on the hardest" and one of the pictures was Astarion and almost all of the comments were like "only if he consents 🥺🥺" & "I would make him feel safe first 🥺💓"
like pardon me... I feel like that part was.....implied????
#bg3#astarion#the infantilization of this man is driving me insane#also what a disservice to a good fictional character that deals with trauma that we feel he can't be nuanced#and both have issues with intimacy AND enjoy (maybe even kinky!!!) sex at the same time#Anyway#when people say “omg we shouldn't sexualize him”#I'm gonna sexualize him even harder#dont even get me started on people's reaction to him in regards to polyamory#tbh i should just stop reading tiktok comments
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Man. I do love when the character is Scared and fucking MAD ABOUT IT. Going from crying and cowering to snapping and biting the MOMENT a hand is extended to them. Trying to help them or otherwise just work with them somehow and the entire fucking time they're kicking and screaming and complaining and being disparaging and stuck up and just kind of a brat about it. ASSUME HARMFUL INTENT BY DEFAULT, get THEM before they GET YOU‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ And NEVER trust a helping hand ESPECIALLY when it feeds you.
#i worry a lot about moe being a difficult character and i absolutely just. mani just fucking sucks ass. no saving that thang#but then it's like. i was just so completely and utterly endeared to sissel. captured my entire heart#THE SMUGNESS TOO. THE SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS. the NEED to have complete control to Protect everyone#and just. having extremely short sighted ways of doing it. the way sissel is still so painfully childish drives me insane.#just added the esp when it feeds you part and realizing how ironic that is w sissel bc that's Literally#how laios was able to win a little bit of trust. HOWEVER. this is me talking. from the heart.#either way something is just Up w me tonight i guess i've just been crying on and off about it LMFAOOO#in my fucking feelings..... whatever man ....#my biggest takeaway here is i can make mani worse.#maybe even still beloved... there is a chance......... it could be possible.#i'm also just extremely fucked up about sissel like. if it wasn't obvious. everything about him is driving me insane actually.#the mother/child imagery/motif. the fucking lion. i cried tears of relief when i saw#that the gang did put sissel in a bed after it all. like i could not fucking relax until i knew where he was#and i so. sooooo deeply and desperately just wanted someone to put him in a bed. for gods fucking sake.#don't even get me started. on everything else.#i'm just never gonna recover.#moe tag#mani tag#<- tagging them bc IN SPIRIT. this post is also about them
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bf says ive been going thru it and doing really well at that. bursts into tears.
#im like a toddler that needs a nap except ive badly needed a nap every minute of every day for a week because covid#and im trying really hard#im actually really okay. i don't have my first math test for another week and two days and if i did terrible on#the bio test today my lowest test grade gets dropped and it's okay. it's okay. it's okay.#i am recovering and working and in a class that is very hard for me and i miss simon so bad. i was too tired to drive last weekend#and couldn't go the one prior to that bc covid obviously#it's okay it's okay it's okay#also im getting the depo provera shot in november. i'm fully over it#also the fatigue is getting better by the day. it's okay. it's okay#getting the shot. seeing si on friday. my math prof is very kind and understands that i'm struggling and wants to help. fatigue is getting#better. turns out i don't have work tomorrow. im gonna play valo w seity sometime soon that will be SO fun.#new comfy desk chair. im gonna put something on and work thru my math hw and submit questions without feeling bad about it#it's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay. im being sooo brave.#he also said it's insane that i've had to work this week because i'm very much still symptomatic. it got me really good this time#the initial sickness wasn't nearly as severe as the last time i had covid but this one is more drawn out#im still having sinus symptoms/pain on top of the fatigue. cried in my car both days that i worked 👍 it's okay. it's okay
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actually the only good unhelmeting of a masked character is if they have a smaller identical helmet underneath the first one
#i have to go vacuum the entire apartment or something so i stop going insane thinking about the mandalorian now#i DONT want to SEE#the only exception to this is that i hear season 2 has an entire episode where he's got his face out bc he HAS TO for plot reasons#and i guess he looks really upset the entire time#which is like.#i mean i haven't seen it yet so take this with several grains of salt#but i think that could be good#but i think taking the helmet off in s1 undermines it too#like building up this belief that it's reallyyyy important to him to NOT show his face to ANYONE and then exploring what it would take to#get him to break that rule. could be really interesting and good#and having him look really uncomfortable and building it up in such a way that the audience also feels really uncomfortable the entire time#until he puts it back on#i think that could be REALLY GOOD#but showing his face in season 1 would undermine the impact of that moment a lot in my opinion#i need to stop going crazy over an episode i haven't even seen. but auagahaahahhhh the season 1 face reveal drives me up the wall WHY did#they DO THAT#you have fancy camera angles at your disposal and you did not have to show US#he was showing THAT DROID because it wasnt a quote-unquote living thing. he was not showing EVERYONE#anyway. im normal and im gonna vacuum now.#my post#this unhinged raving is why i made a star wars sideblog and y et here it is on my main for all to see.#woe. my star wars opinions be upon ye
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You listen to Prince Ali ONCE and now you're thinking about a mh Jam AU based on the story of Disney's Aladdin.
#good GOD I can't open that can of worms‚ I still have my own worms to finish!!!#so I'm gonna just. write the gist down here#now it won't be exactly like the movie. or the original tale#because I feel like it'd be kinda weird to just. insert white men into an Arabian/Chinese tale#(I think??? idk man it's not the time for me to go down a origin research rabbit hole for this)#the roles are Jay as Jasmine and Tim as Aladdin obviously#Brian is the Genie bc he deserves it methinks#Alex is 'the sultan' although I think he'd be just a... an advisor... alongside the Jafar here. Who's of course The Operator#like Alex is trying to get Jay to settle with a suitor bc rules and Jay's just like 'no thanks.' driving Alex INSANE#The Operator is still at his bullshit#and that's all I've got#I'm gonna go to bed#marble hornets#mh jam#marble hornets au#ig. idk. it's bed time
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i can def relate to having an abusive mother, the worst part is that people always assume mothers to be good people. thankfully my dad and mother don't live together so i chose to stay with my dad permanently but my dad's girlfriend is constantly talking about how i should make up with my mother because "you only get one mom" and she completely ignores me when i try to talk about how abusive my mother was
yeah. ugh. sorry about your situation anon. it sucks and im sending sympathies
#ask#i just dunno what to do with myself#as if complex trauma isnt enough im now dealing with a lot of complicated situations regarding what to do now#i dont live there anymore. but my siblings do. hi guys i have 4 younger siblings#and me as much as everybody else just wishes there was a nice family to help us develop stable and normal#so im doing my damn best. im trying to stay in contact with the kids. im hoping they have a better support system than i did#but family policy means the teens get no texting privacy no internet time. so as if i can fucking stay in touch and look out for them anywa#i dont think i can do anything. it feels inevitable that every kid is gonna get completely fractured like me#and the only other alternative risks making it worse and uncomfortable when its none of my business anymore#(taking up my therapist on calling cps. lol)#i cant talk about it with my siblings (no real access to them) and it makes me insane#i cant talk to my dad because he has enough shit and i dont want to drive the family to pieces#i cant talk to my mum because she has a habit of abusing the kids and then telling them its because *I* made her mad; blame me#what am i meant to do#as if the past isnt a lot to process right now. im also dealing with the present that this is probably ongoing and theres fuck all i can do#sorry for venting. im in hell. im trying to be normal and failing spectacularly#abuse#domestic abuse#for cw#i wish i didnt have to worry. i wish this was never a problem in the first place
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What is an Arakawa Family Enjoyer if not a sadomasochist right... BUT I hope family fun time makes for a nice escape from the horrors :) as always, take care! I will of course be looking forward to it!
I've been knocking around the idea of Potential flashback interactions for a bit only because Arakawa's line being "You only live once, so live without regrets." always reminded me of that last phone call between Arakawa and Jo in Soliloquy... where he tells Jo to make his own decision if it comes down to choosing between him and Masato and oughghghgh... I'm sure he's (probably?) talking to Ichiban but GOD. Had to have those kinds of talks with Jo too right...
ALSO ABOUT RGGO ARAKAWA YEAH GKLSHGKJLJ he has immense Distinguished Older Gentleman swag for being only 32 in that scene 😭😭
it's on brand somehow i dont know HOW it just is (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) in any case... i AM almost done with my silly little thing (AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME I JUST HAVE TO COLOR) so... yay :)
HE DEF HAD THOSE KIND OF TALKS WITH JO those fics might only be fics but to me they were secrets from the rgg vault..... listen if arakawa can already be warning jo about joining the yakuza while he's joining the yakuza then i believe he can have them Real Talk talks with him too after the fact......
THAT'S WHAT I MEAAAN it's so fucked up... i get why they had to get rid of it i really do but i miss it.....
#snap chats#lit just opened my Color Refs file. and by that i mean im color pickin from that Empty Next comic since i can get all the colors from ther#now why did As The World Caves In have to come on im going to kermit sewerside ACTUALLY#you cant be an arakawa family enjoyer without having a mental breakdown at least once a day i PROMISE and this song is NOT HELPING#but real..... surely arakawa had noticed over the years how much jo adores masato... to SOME extent...#if he can 'joke' bout jo bein softer on masato sometimes then i know it to be true.... im going to scream...#that aint EVEN BEGINNING just. Joining The Yakuza In General hold on im going to make myself throw up#cause you dont JUST join the yakuza- i mean. No Reminders on how arakawa got to where he did after The Horrors#if i start thinking of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun im gonna throw up oh my god DO YOU THINK#DO YOU THINK ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS ARAKAWA THINKS LIKE THAT.. JUST A LIL BIT OR.. YK WHAT I MEAN...#am i being delusional..... maybe so.... i just know im having vibes and feelings rn...#i need to finish this thing i have to go before i drive myself insane jLKEVLKWJ#anyway uhhhhhhhhhhhh Unfairly Attractive Suburban Father arakawa is real to me and will live on forever despite the wardrobe swap
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*blows party horn* happy bastard’s death anniversary!!
(no but seriously, forget about the 2D man for one goddamn second: this isn’t something to be really-really sad about...)
#*throws confetti*#your favorite borblo was thrown into acid! yeah!!!#good riddance#he's dead isn't that great--?? i mean look at the all the prussia=gdr things his fake ass is not *that* dead. just almost.#he's not seeing the next century for sure#be sad about the character if you want (i cant tell you what feelings to have) but being sad about *actual* prussia? hhhhhhhhhhhh#itty bitty bit about whats salvageable (+ pre-teutonic knights)#its part of the past. what exist has become part of germany and the other countries that got the territories (and better stay that way)#i knows its just me being insane but seeing on one hand people being weirdly too sad over the >1947< dissolution#while on another looking at the news and the other type of '''''''fans''''''' this former state has (just look around the internet...)#drives me insane#gilbert stan; prussia hater#negative#me: i love hetalia#also me: i fucking hate hetalia#gonna scare future me bc i know im going to forget about this#hws prussia#aph prussia#sr. tnddr#annual yelling
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Im going through it so hard but I'll survive I prommy *I'm facedown on the floor and burning*
#i'll live#just getting overwhelmed by everything#stress of symba behavioural issues#darkness cold and wetness from winter#shit load of unprocessed trauma and suppressed emotions#a lil worried about my fishtank because my shrimp population just crashed for some reason#amanos are fine but the neocardinia are disappearing :(#maybe its my assasin snails eating them when they molt..#Also hair algea are driving me insane and moss (?) is growing on plants and the leaves keep falling off#also big orange's daughter appears to have the same cancer that she had to be euthanised for so thats fun#other fish are fine#in other things that worry me#gonna get my blood drawn on Tuesday to exclude medical causes for my exhaustion#wednesday im gonna go to the vet again to see if they can finally solve symba's armpit irritation spots#on the 7th of January i need a cavity filled#i need to still call some government thing to ask for clarification about an aspect of my welfare#i feel shitty about not being able to draw or work on my ocs#or on lore#i really want to share my ocs and world with you guys..#i also really want to launch koc for my friends before the year ends..#its been in the works for way too long#i got a million art wips..#just ugh so much to do..#havent been able to visit my mom since ive obtained Symba either#because he will freak out the second he sees a dog and i cant predict wether a dog will get on the bus or be at the station#and also he still gets snippy with people sometimes when overwhelmed#and my mom is scared of him because he bit her once#god theres just so much going on in my head..#but i will stay safe i promise#lena whines
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Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody
#had someone's husband in my dms going on about how i want this bitch romantically and frankly if i hadn't been so busy crying i would've#actually thrown up . absolutely disgusting idea . vile even . horrid concept#anyway tldr im down a best friend because he didn't tell me anything i was doing was wrong after telling me that everything was okay and#then sent his husband after me to call me a creep that was obsessed with him that also apparently tried to make out w him#the same trip that my best friend of five years told me he hated having me in his hometown to see him graduate.#this was after i found out my cat had been murdered and mutilated and thrown in my granma's garden . that day happened to be my birthday#because my ma was kind enough to drive me and my lil brother down there to go see him graduate bc he was also supposed to move in w us the#month after . and he told me right after i got home that he 'didn't think it would be good for our relationship' and apparently#just didn't know how to tell me until a month before it was supposed to happen . bonkers times over here#anyway i didn't want to make out with him . he cried after i wouldn't have sex w him just last december . which i specifically got high as#shit to avoid . and i dont even have like. actual examples of what i was doing wrong to go off of so now i just get to live in mystery#forever ig. like shocker that the person that's been my best friend for five years would tell his husband to say that to me and not say that#shit to me himself . this is a wild to me . i feel like im going insane . can anybody even hear me what's going on#you know its bad when your mama gets so sick of you crying over a friend that she hugs you for the first time in years#also i cant sleep my head hurts . crying is evil . devils liquid . might watch rpdr or something . still nauseous over the idea of being#into him romantically btw . like still nauseous over that . like what a fucking insult to our entire friendship#does saying that we may as well have been made of the same atoms mean like . nothing . does nothing ive said to or about him not mean anythi#ng if its not romantic in nature . what did i do that wasnt enough for him. i fucking told him he outgrew me and that was fine i just#wanted to know if we were still friends or not and he said we were and i believed him. if he told me the sky was green i would make it so#ripping my hair out . am i being dramatic . am i the only person that wasn't expecting this . am i the only one that didn't know#when i had to tell people who knew about the moving plans that he changed his mind the first fucking thing i was told was “i thought it migh#t happen.“ WELL I FUCKINH DIDN'T . AND NOBODY TOLD ME#this is like . the second most humiliating moment of my life . aside from movinggate because at least nobody irl has to know about this#anyway . this boy could've taken my blood and i'd sit there and smile while he did it because he was my best friend .#i was so glad we got to grow up together. i miss him already. im taking my little brother to school my myself for the first time and all im#gonna wanna do is tell him about it . im tired . i want to sleep . im still so nauseous . did none of it mean anything just because ive#never and will never like him romantically. does that make everything less worthy somehow#i hope he never talks to me again. i dont think i could handle this again. he let is fucking husband say that shit to me. not him.#puppmeo misery
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